It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...
Christmas is over, all done. No more. Buh-bye then. Such an enormous buildup followed by enormous letdown. Once the holiday season is past there is nothing to look forward to in upstate New York besides new Lost episodes, followed by Spring, which usually arrives by the end of June.
My house is a wreck. Covered from end to end with new toys that have already been abandoned by an overstimulated 2 1/2 year old. I now face the daunting task of unloading all the toys he hasn't paid attention to for at least the last six months in order to make room for all the new ones. However, the trick to this is that it must be done while he is sleeping, the reason being that if he sees the clickety-clack alligator, you know - the one that he hasn't touched since last Christmas - being packed into a box, for sure he will decide that he cannot bear to part with it, and a very dramatic fit complete with tears and the sadl "I'm cwying, mama I'm CWYING" will surely ensue
And WTF is up with all the broken toys we received/bought? Does this happen to all parents at christmas time? You spend months shopping, painstakingly picking out what will certainly be your children's most prized possessions only to find that the Melissa & Doug mailbox is splintered, and the Fisher-Price (anyone else need the 800 number?) Geotrax Working Town Railway is quite frankly a piece of garbage. First the train doesn't work. Then the remote doesn't work. Frustrated first-time daddy calls every Walmart and Target within a 50 mile radius to see if they carry replacement parts so the 2 1/2 year old member of the househould can play with his first train set. Said 2 1/2 year old hands me the phone and suggests we call Santa Claus. Frustrated Dad drives an hour to a Toys R Us and buys another train with remote control only to return home and find *gasp* the GD thing doesn't work. 2 1/2 year old suggests we call the junk-slinging bastards at Fisher-Price (just kidding, actually it was me that suggested that, but of course isn't it much funnier coming from a 2 1/2 year old?) Furious Husband calls Fisher-Price only to have the moron on the other end of the phone suggest we try alkaline batteries. Genius! Doormat Husband starts to back down. Crazed wife pokes him in the back repeatedly demanding that they either refund the entire amount for both or at least send new stuff to replace items already purchased. Mass hysteria as now-crazed husband starts wildly gesturing for crazed wife to shut her big yapper while trying to remain calm towards Fisher-Price Representative Sheep. Crazed wife stomps up the hall and starts straightening bedroom, making sure crash-bangs are heard throughout the house (you know, because acting like a child really helps the situation). No-patience-left-husband starts sweating profusely and breathing into a paper bag.
2 1/2 year old happily plays on the floor with broken train set.
My house is a wreck. Covered from end to end with new toys that have already been abandoned by an overstimulated 2 1/2 year old. I now face the daunting task of unloading all the toys he hasn't paid attention to for at least the last six months in order to make room for all the new ones. However, the trick to this is that it must be done while he is sleeping, the reason being that if he sees the clickety-clack alligator, you know - the one that he hasn't touched since last Christmas - being packed into a box, for sure he will decide that he cannot bear to part with it, and a very dramatic fit complete with tears and the sadl "I'm cwying, mama I'm CWYING" will surely ensue
And WTF is up with all the broken toys we received/bought? Does this happen to all parents at christmas time? You spend months shopping, painstakingly picking out what will certainly be your children's most prized possessions only to find that the Melissa & Doug mailbox is splintered, and the Fisher-Price (anyone else need the 800 number?) Geotrax Working Town Railway is quite frankly a piece of garbage. First the train doesn't work. Then the remote doesn't work. Frustrated first-time daddy calls every Walmart and Target within a 50 mile radius to see if they carry replacement parts so the 2 1/2 year old member of the househould can play with his first train set. Said 2 1/2 year old hands me the phone and suggests we call Santa Claus. Frustrated Dad drives an hour to a Toys R Us and buys another train with remote control only to return home and find *gasp* the GD thing doesn't work. 2 1/2 year old suggests we call the junk-slinging bastards at Fisher-Price (just kidding, actually it was me that suggested that, but of course isn't it much funnier coming from a 2 1/2 year old?) Furious Husband calls Fisher-Price only to have the moron on the other end of the phone suggest we try alkaline batteries. Genius! Doormat Husband starts to back down. Crazed wife pokes him in the back repeatedly demanding that they either refund the entire amount for both or at least send new stuff to replace items already purchased. Mass hysteria as now-crazed husband starts wildly gesturing for crazed wife to shut her big yapper while trying to remain calm towards Fisher-Price Representative Sheep. Crazed wife stomps up the hall and starts straightening bedroom, making sure crash-bangs are heard throughout the house (you know, because acting like a child really helps the situation). No-patience-left-husband starts sweating profusely and breathing into a paper bag.
2 1/2 year old happily plays on the floor with broken train set.
posted by Lo at 12:10 PM
2 Comments:
I came by way of Catherine.
Too funny...cause I always clean the bedroom and act like a child when my hubby isn't doing what I want on the phone too!
Thanks for the comment, mama!
The worst thing is I know I'm acting like a child, yet somewhere in the dark depths of my mind I think it's going to help...it doesn't.
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