Hey, I wasn't born yesterday...or was I?

I discovered pot when I was nineteen, my best friend introduced me and we spent a lot of time getting stoned and discovering all things mary jane. Like making homemade pipes out of toilet paper rolls, eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting, decorating the face of a large man named Tyrone with that cheap Wet 'N Wild lipstick while he was passed out - okay, so that's a story for another day - a big part of all this is that we started discovering music outside of our Boyz II Men/C&C Music Factory bubble.

We rolled joints to The Doors. We thought Morrison was God and lusted over the Val Kilmer version of him. We did bong hits to Led Zeppelin (will always remember an old friend looking down his nose at me and dryly saying "what do you mean you have never heard Stairway To Heaven?"), we listened to all the stuff my sisters grew up on and loved it.

We spent a lot of time driving around. We listened to that radio show "Flashback" with Bill St. James. Bill St. James of the cosmic deep and sexy voice. He would whip off 60's and 70's trivia and spin good tunes that we felt the need to get baked to. , Each week a different year was in the spotlight. It was a really good, although really lazy, time in my life. We were young and free...and we were young!

This has been a nice trip down memory lane for me. So much so that I've nearly forgotten to include the whole point of this story.

It's Sunday morning. 6:45 a.m. I'm driving into the city for my bi-weekly shopping trip. I look forward to it, it's a ritual. I sip my coffee out of my travel mug and eye the sunrise in the east. I think of what I'll make for dinner that night. I immediately grow tired of wondering how I'll get anything resembling nutrition into the 2 1/2 year old and flip on the radio.

Imagine my excitement when I hear good ol' Bill St. James announcin his signature "Flashback" with all those trippy effects on his voice. I can't believe it! I immediately feel 20 years old again. I get the urge to light a cigarette, but oh wait, I quit smoking in 2002. I instinctively turn the volume up, feeling those little prickles you get sometimes when you hear a good song (I'm not the only one, right?). I'm thinking Zep's The Song Remains The Same. I'm hoping anyway.

But wait, why is it that Bill St. James is spinning U2's New Year's Day? What's that now, is that "Foolin" by Def Leppard? Are you Fa-fa-fa fuuuucking kidding me? I mean, what year is this, anyway? What! 1983? I'm so old that Flashback is up to 1983? Bill St. James, surely you jest. You're a traitor, sir! In 1983 I was twelve years old, that was like, five minutes ago...how is it that the music that I grew up on is now considered "oldies"? This is not what's supposed to happen Mr. St. James, Sir! Oldies are oldies, dude - how dare you play 80's songs early on a Sunday morning! How about some Jimi Hendrix? He's old AND dead - come on now! Okay, okay, I'll try to calm down - but only if you can assure me that Duran Duran isn't included in all this "old" talk. That might put me over the edge.

So what does this mean then - are there 20 year old kids out there tonight, getting stoned in their cars to Spandau Ballet's "True"? Are they smokin' up to Dexy's Midnight Runners "Come on Eileen"? I'll bet they've never even heard of Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath.

My, my, as the world turns...I remember a time when everything seemed so much bigger, life was stretched out in front of me, like a long ribbon of road. Now I sometimes feel I'm still on that road. But what's that - up ahead? Oh, it's a brick wall. I feel the burn now more than ever since I've had a child. I want to soak up every bit of his childhood. I want things to slow down as he begins to go through life. Why does everything go faster when we get older?

Well I suppose I can't dwell. Have to do what we can while we're here, etc., etc. Although I must say if I were twenty years old today, for sure I would be getting chinese eyes along with Mr Roboto.