Someone Please Hire Me

Do I need a new job? Yes.

Dumb Ass: When was that check mailed out? When am I going to get that check?
Me: It was mailed yesterday sir.
Dumb Ass: So then I should get it today or tomorrow, right?
Me: I'm not sure when you'll get it, sir. You see, once I put the check in the mail, it's kind of up to the post office to get it to you.
Dumb Ass: Do you have their number?

Oy vey....